My Temporary Lifestyle

It's an endless, stressful, invigorating, addictive yet freeing, stimulating cycle. My life is full of jam-packed, breathtaking, soul searching episodes, only they are never a continuous flow of events. Frustratingly, each are interrupted by the nagging question of "Well, what the heck are you going to do next?" I've come to expect this question, and I whole-heartedly welcome it as opposed to safely having my future all figured out. But I always endure a brief period of in all likelihood self-inflicted stress before I figure out the next step. I'm still employed in Montana, but am entering the confusing, desperate, scrambling interval of searching for new jobs or opportunities, filling out mass amounts of online applications, tracking people down via phone or email, and mainly just waiting.

These interludes offer a brief reality check to my usual carefree lifestyle. I am harshly forced to ask myself several weighty questions. What is my purpose? Am I really doing the things that I love? How am I ever going to pay back my student loans? Am I living up to my own life expectations? Am I abandoning my friends and family? How much longer can I live this way? Am I afraid of the security and comfort of being still?

To most of those questions, I still don't know the answer to. But I do know my heart is free, my legs are strong, and my curiosity is insatiable. So until one of those is gone, I guess I'll keep going.

“Where your talents and the needs of the world cross, there lies your vocation. 

These two, your talents and the needs of the world, are the great wake-up calls to your true vocation in life. To ignore either is, in some sense, to lose your soul.”

Aristotle